Kansas City Cuddle Cot

The Birth & Bereavement Doulas® of The M0M Center here in Kearney / Kansas City now have the Cuddle Cot as a piece of support as we come alongside families experiencing the birth and the death of their beloved baby.

The Cuddle Cot is a mortuary device that is an important complement to other healthcare resources for the family who has experienced the death of their beloved baby, either prior to or shortly after birth.

From FlexMort, the Cuddle Cot creator

“Providing families Time through the use of the CuddleCot is internationally encouraged by midwives, bereavement practitioners, still birth/neonatal charities, and academics.  Time allows the family to form an important bond with their baby; whether changing a nappy, dressing the baby, taking photographs or simply just staying close and this unquestionably helps families in dealing with their loss. The problem is that in a warm room the baby’s condition can deteriorate quickly, therefore cooling the baby is absolutely essential.

Transferring to and from the morgue is now widely regarded as an outdated practice as it is traumatic for parents to repeatedly go through the separation process whereas the CuddleCot allows the family to spend every moment with their baby, precious moments where every minute counts.”

 

The M0M Center is the first in Kansas City to have a Cuddle Cot, to be accessible throughout the entire KC metro.  Our doulas serve families throughout the entire Kansas City area, meeting with bereaved parents often for the very first time in the birth space, to offer the family a skilled support throughout labor and birth, and inviting the family in experiencing the Welcoming of their baby, including holding, bathing, gowning and bonding with their baby with honor, meaning and profound love.  The Cuddle Cot is a precious piece of our doula offerings.

We also offer the family Legacy Swaddle infant gowns recreated by our seamstress team from bridal gowns, among numerous other offerings, all made from other bereaved families drawing together to bring validation and hope to those experiencing a similar devastation.  Local or other resources we draw from at The M0M Center include Bridget’s Cradles and Holy Sews for infant clothing and burial items, and Beyond the Willow Tree for breastmilk keepsakes.

We also serve families experiencing full term live birth outcomes, and assist with the same comfort techniques in labor as well as lactation and other postpartum support.  These birth doula services are precious to families who have previously experienced pregnancy and infant loss who then go on to have subsequent pregnancies with live birth outcomes.

 

The Three Threads

pouchWhen the family learns that their beloved baby is not alive, they may learn via a confirmed ultrasound and may only have their healthcare provider for support, or their own cell phone’s reach to social media to report the devastating news to their loved ones.  Therefore, these three threads (the healthcare professional, the parent’s loved ones, or the mother) become the threads that link families to us, and how we receive referrals – invitations to enter into these holy places, where birth & bereavement may meet.

 

The M0M Center: stillbirthday headquarters

slider pictures whiteThe M0M Center is the headquarters of stillbirthday, an internationally trusted benevolent organization whose philanthropic mission is simply to doula: to nurture sources of perinatal bereavement, strengthen skills of healthcare professionals and increase healthy engagement of perinatal related needs among communities. Stillbirthday is founded on the non-discriminatory mandate to love, to the best of our ability, in all situations. Members of the stillbirthday community are diverse and autonomous, each committed to exemplifying the advancement of loving service which our Principles of Service frames. Stillbirthday is founded as an auspice of Christian Childbirth Services LLC.

 

The M0M Center: our doulas

final-6326Each of the greater Kansas City area doulas who network through The M0M Center all have certified through stillbirthday, and each have established themselves autonomously and serve according to their own contractual agreements.  We each have a heart to come alongside families in the spaces where birth & bereavement meet.

 

The birth of stillbirthday & The M0M Center

SBD10Stillbirthday was founded by Kansas City mother Heidi Faith and her husband, after the birth of their fourth child, born not alive, on April 19, 2011.  Stillbirthday was launched as a free database of networking doulas and free birth plans for mothers giving birth in any trimester, and in any outcome, including second trimester and first trimester birth plans.  Mothers experiencing miscarriage or stillbirth and desiring to include personalized options in the experience of the birth now have access to do so.  Soon, stillbirthday established the first globally respected certification program in both birth and bereavement support, the Birth & Bereavement Doula® certification program.

The M0M Center doula training event

hcThis summer The M0M Center is bringing visitors and special guests from all over the world to experience a training and retreat, strengthening skills in serving families facing birth and bereavement.

Subjects include:

  • traditional, live birth outcome, doula skills, including such things as offering comfort measures for the laboring mother
  • birth photography & bereavement photography
  • organ donation
  • rebozo & womb wrapping
  • guiding bonding
  • psychological and spiritual wellness in the role of doula

You can learn more about this event, HomeComing, by visiting this link.

Cuddle Cot for KC: why it is an important part

usHolding time and making moments count are things that are important to the Birth & Bereavement Doula and are important to the family.  But the reason for bringing this piece to Kansas City is personal to me.  The long term vision of stillbirthday is a palliative birth center: to be as socio normative as a neighborhood clinic, birthing centers that are available for families experiencing threatened or inevitable pregnancy and infant loss.  Labor suites for the 600,000 annual American mothers who experience miscarriage, or the 26,000 US women joining them through stillbirth, coupled with a transitional team offering an on-site beautiful infant burial meadow.  Even, a place of lodging and respite that the family can return to and visit through the years.  It’s a long time out, but this stands as our long term hope.

us (2)On April 19, 2012, exactly one year from the birth of my baby born not alive, I sat, (very) full term in my subsequent pregnancy, crumpled into my midwife’s arms, she embracing me, wrapping me up in her love, reminding me that I am worthy, that I am a mother and my whole motherhood story counts.  After my visit with my midwife, I visited my son’s grave.  Such a complex dichotomy of aching and surrender, of hope and grief. Five days later I gave birth to my son’s younger sister, in a beautiful experience with my amazing midwife, Cathy Gordon of New Birth Company.  The exceptional truth is that birth and bereavement are intricately connected; birth providers have seen  and experienced it and the best of them have held sweet babies not alive and have wept with families and have held these families and have prayed for them and have walked this impossible path with them.  We doulas from The M0M Center want to come alongside to bring an even stronger, bigger, skilled village around the family.

 

Cuddle Cot Legacy: you can be a part

beingpartWe do not charge for our doula services when we are serving a family whose baby is not alive.  But the Cuddle Cot is a substantial investment {initial purchase $2800} and our doula services are also a substantial – waived – investment {generally average $500}.

The M0M Center is stillbirthday headquarters, which means we provide support globally as well as right here throughout the greater Kansas City area.  We are not part of any 501(c)3 or other initiative or organization in serving families or in providing Cuddle Cot or other doula services.

This means that you can give to this legacy and your freewill offering remains entirely toward this legacy.  Our Cuddle Cot is here, so the fruition of your offering is already guaranteed and is so very appreciated.  We are acting on faith that such a financial investment will return to us so that we have the provision to continue to serve.

You can give in any amount, in honor of your own beloved babies, as a way to recognize someone you love, or in support of the love we bring to families, and your amount will be updated and reflected right here for all to see.

The M0M Center will hold a public display of sponsors who contribute to the investment of the Cuddle Cot, at any level and of any amount.  This display will be a permanent fixture of The M0M Center.

fbmomAfter you’ve given, you can visit our facebook page and/or see the end of this post for your addition!

To begin with a unique amount not shown below, create this URL in a new window (www.paypal.me/stillbirthday/ __).  The number at the end of the URL link will reflect your giving amount.

 

For example, for $25:

www.paypal.me/stillbirthday/25

For $500

www.paypal.me/stillbirthday/500

For $1,000:
www.paypal.me/stillbirthday/1000

 

KC Cuddle Cot Sponsors

 

 

 

MOM logo final

 

Beautiful Giving

$25 – Christa Duquette offers this gift in honour of baby Bennett  {Alberta, Canada}
$25 – Christa Duquette offers this gift in honour of baby Celine     {Alberta, Canada}
$25 – Jeremy Cotter – My wife and I donated one to a hospital in Sioux City this past February in honor of our daughter Elizabeth.  {Iowa}
$25 – Stefanie Guerrero – in memory of Angel Batrez, our firstborn daughter, born sleeping on 7.9.13 {Texas}
$25 – Kristin Young – in honor of Isaac, Naomi, Jeremiah, Hope, Caleb, Joseph, Gabriel, Christian, Isaiah, Gideon, Deborah, Judah Jubilee, Moriah {South Carolina}
$50 – Katie Tolbert – Northern Virginia Birth Services {Virginia}
$25 – The Amos Fletcher Fund, Michelle Criss {Iowa}
$25 – Hannah Luetke-Stahlman, In honor of Theodore John Dahm, 3/2/16 {Kansas City MO}
$25 – Xiomara Rodriguez on 04.23
$25 – Marcia Viillarreal on 04.28
$25 – Midwife Carrie LaChapelle on 04.29
$20 – Joe and Andrea Valley on 05.04

 

 

About The Author

Heidi Faith

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